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A webmistress by day, I spend my free time writing romance novels, hanging out with my husband and our two dogs, reading, gardening, cooking, and watching TV.
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Indelibly Inked, Chapter 35 (Final)
Indelibly Inked
He cleared his throat, glancing at each person before resting his gaze on Claire. "How are you feeling, Ms. Taylor?" His tone was gentle, and she fought the urge to rub the base of her throat. The skin had healed over, but every time she looked in the mirror she was reminded of Dunham, and how close she'd been to death.
"I'm fine, Mr. Mayor." Forcing the corners of her lips up, she inclined her head slightly. "Thank you for asking." Adam laid his hand over hers, the gauze that still wrapped his own injury soft against her skin. He'd been lucky that the needle had missed hitting a vein, but it was still a very deep wound, and he'd been fortunate that infection hadn't set in.
"And the case is closed - there's no further danger?"
She nodded. "That's correct. Dunham is dead, along with the man who kidnapped me in the hospital." After they'd finished telling her story to the police, they'd learned that a body had been found in the basement the day Dunham had made his move. The man's dental records had matched a hit man who had carelessly kept the number for David's father in his wallet. The ex-politician had been arrested and was awaiting trial in jail. It had been hard on David, and while he wouldn't talk about it, Claire knew it was just as hard on Adam knowing his father had hired someone to kill her. Or at least threaten to kill her if she didn't drop the race.
Mayor Thomas leaned back in his chair, pulling the reading glasses off his nose and tossing them on the table. "I have to say, this is very unusual. But due to the public outcry, it has to be addressed. The thing is, I can't just hold off the election. Federal laws are the prime authority in this case, so I'm afraid my hands are tied." He sat up, lacing his fingers on the table.
"The only thing I can do is remind you that neither one of you actually dropped out of the race. While I can't postpone the election, you're both welcome to start campaigning again and your names will be on the ballot. But I'm afraid that's the limit of my authority in this matter. If you both withdraw, we'll have no choice but to have the city council appoint someone to fill the seat until another election can be held."
Claire looked across the table at David. His expression was stoic, punctuated by harsh lines and dark half-circles under his eyes. She wasn't sure if he intended to continue the campaign or not. Stacy had tried to call him for the past week, but he wouldn't take her calls, and he'd refused to talk to Adam as well. He'd effectively shut himself off from the world, with only his mother for company.
A light squeeze on her hand brought her attention back to Adam. He raised his eyebrows, silently urging her on. She let out a long, slow breath, then met the Mayor's steady gaze.
"Thank you for your reassurance, sir. I've decided to withdraw from the campaign," she said, her voice sounding much louder in the room than she'd intended. At her announcement, Stacy stood and took the formal letter she'd drawn up earlier to the election administrator. "I don't think I'm in any position to lead the city right now." She chuckled low, shaking her head as she looked down at the table. "I don't even have a place of my own, much less any money to run a campaign with. I might run next time, but for now, I need to pick up the pieces and start over."
Lifting her head and pushing her chair back, she met David's cold gaze as she stood up. "I don't blame you for your father's actions. I just wanted you to know that. I think you'll make a great mayor." Adam's hand was warm in the small of her back, and she let him lead her out of the room, leaving the others to wrap things up.
"Are those happy or sad tears?" he asked, worry crinkling the sides of his face. She laid the mirror behind her, then reached for him, pulling him in close for a kiss.
"Definitely happy," she replied, pressing her lips against his once more. He pulled back, and she grinned up at him, swiping at her eyes with one hand. "It's beautiful. Thank you."
His arms came around her waist, and he pulled her up tight against him, careful not to touch her new cover-up job. "It was my pleasure, though I'm sorry it had to be so conspicuous. If I could have stopped him--"
"Shh." She kissed him again, soft and teasing. "No more of that. You're a hero. My hero. Now kiss me again."
"Yes ma'am." He smiled, leaning in to press his lips against her forehead, then the tip of her nose, sending a delicious shiver down the back of her neck. He nuzzled his way down her jaw line, and she sucked in a breath, prepared to beg if she had to.
When his mouth finally came down over hers, she sighed, wrapping her legs around his waist. "I love you," she whispered against his lips, praying he wouldn't push her away. She trembled as he brought one hand up to cup the side of her face, a tender look in his eyes she'd never seen before.
"I love you too." The words tattooed her heart just as surely as he'd marked her skin.
And with that, I'll mark this particular story done. Thanks to everyone who participated, and for those of you who simply read along as well. I appreciate all the lovely comments left and especially those of you who took time to vote in the polls.
The Biker's Wench is moving over to the blog starting next Friday. Please vote below and tell me if you'd like me to start at the beginning, or with Chapter 4 where I left off over there. Installments will be around 1,000 words each week, as usual.
Everyday Romance: Surprise!
When was the last time you surprised someone you love? For me, it's been awhile, and I've been pondering what sort of thing I should do for my husband this time "just because". In the past I've hidden love letters and notes for him, gotten us new "toys" to play with, bought new lingerie, taken him out for dinner, brought home something I knew he wanted...all of the usual stuff.
He's changing jobs in the next couple of weeks, and taking some time off between – and our anniversary is this weekend (Saturday or Sunday...I can never remember exactly which date. My parents will remind us, I'm sure). We don't exchange gifts, so he's not expecting anything (we normally just do a nice dinner, and we'll still do that). But I'm leaning towards ordering a new toy and making him wait to open the box until I get home from work one day this week, just for something fun and exciting. It's not just my characters and readers I like to torture with suspense. 
So tell me – when's the last time you surprised a loved one with something fun? What are your favorite ways to surprise people?
Weekly News & Goals 8/30/10
Good news - the Tempest paperbacks are out for delivery today! Signed copies will go out tomorrow, and those of you in the states should have them within the week. Out of the country will probably take a little longer, but hopefully you'll have those soon as well. Thanks for your patience – now that I know how long this process takes, I'll definitely have my copies on hand before the next release date.
There are still 19 signed copies available for anyone who'd like one....
Of course my new Kindle will be delivered today as well. I'm super-excited, but I promise I won't get lost in anyone else's book until I sign and package my own to send out. This is a good thing – because once I pick it up, it's liable to turn into a bonefide reading binge.
Speaking of Kindles - wanna win one? Zoe Winters is giving one...maybe two away over at her blog for your purchase and/or helping her promote her paranormal romance anthology, Blood Lust (.99 today only for Kindle). Head on over to her blog for details - if nothing else, buy a copy. You won't regret it - Zoe is a phenomenal writer.
Indelibly Inked will end this week with Chapter 35. And I'm going to postpone Chapter 4 of The Biker's Wench because it will slide into the weekly serial spot after Indelibly Inked is done, and you'll get a new 1k installment every Friday starting on Sept. 10. I'll leave the first three chapters on Scribd until I start editing, and when each full chapter is done, I'll post that there as well. So you can either read as I write in around 1k installments here at the blog, or wait until each 3k chapter is finished and read it on Scribd (it won't be three weeks between - I need to get ahead in preparation for NaNo). Or you can wait until next May/June when it's revised and ready for sale. I'm all about options!
And because I just don't have enough blogs out there (actually, it's because I needed to get a new Live Journal account so I could comment on LJ blogs) I set up the blog that comes with my account for just quick, random snippets from my virtual writing desk (process notes, if you will, not guaranteed to be decipherable). I've set it to feed through Tumblr, so it will post to my FB wall & twitter for those of you who are wisely not blog junkies with accounts everywhere. I swear, blogging is an addiction...which is a great lead in for...
This Week on The Variety Pages
Wednesday: Everyday Romance – Surprise!
Friday: Chapter 35 (Final) of Indelibly Inked
Thursday at Beyond the Words
Self-Publishing: Be Prepared
Goal Reports
Last week, I really tried hard to get back into HPC. And I realized that I can't write the same story twice, even if it's to make it different. So I've consigned HPC back to the trunk, and am moving on with projects I'm far more excited about. I'm starting the revisions for Desert Heat this week and working on Chapter 4 of The Biker's Wench.
As for personal goals, I ate pretty decently, worked out twice, and got a little more planning done for the party. I'm still trying to catch up my laundry...nothing terribly surprising about that.
Goals for the Week
Writing
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Start Ch. 4 of The Biker's Wench
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Ch. 35 of Indelibly Inked
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Start Desert Heat Revisions
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Work on secret pen name projects
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Send out signed copies of Tempest
Personal
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Start taking the stairs again at work
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Start decorating for Halloween
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Read Cinders by Michelle Davidson Argyle & A Reaper's Tale by Adam Slade (both on the TBR list)
Last week I started The Truth Lies in the Dark by Kristin Callendar...and am loving it so far (6 chapters in). Excellent mystery so far.
That's it for me this week – what's on your plate? Read any good books lately?
Indelibly Inked, Chapter 34
Indelibly Inked
"That wasn't me," he growled, shaking his head at the floor as he walked around the table and crossed his arms over his chest. "Although I did punish the offender, and spent a little time with our girl before putting her in the courtyard. He should never have touched her. She's mine. She's always been mine." He looked up then, moving closer as he leaned down, scowling. "You never should have touched her either. That's why you're here, you know." He glanced over his shoulder, staring at the table before turning back, his eyes watery. "It's not all your fault though. I saw her seduce you. I saw her mouth wrapped around your...well. The damage is done now. Time for you both to pay for your sins."
Turning away, he went back to the table and leaned over Claire, smoothing a hand over her forehead before taking up a short knife and cutting down the center of her shirt. Adam strained against the ropes holding him down, moving his wrists and ankles side to side checking for weak spots as he watched Dunham spread the shirt open, revealing a plain white bra covering Claire's breasts.
"I think you'll appreciate this part, but you'll understand that I can't let you get to close," Mel said, moving to the other side of the table without looking back. "If you look up and to your left, you'll see a screen where you can watch."
Adam looked up as a black screen flickered to life, and Claire's face and chest came starkly into view. A low, familiar hum filled the room as he stared at the purple outline that started at the base of her throat with the letters M and D in a stylized format connected by two chain links, and more purple chain circling either side of her neck in a thick ink chain necklace.
"Do you think she'll like it?"
He tore his eyes away from the screen to find Mel watching him with obvious delight. In one hand, he held a shiny metal tattoo gun attached to an air hose. Adam's stomach twisted as the man bent over Claire and touched the tip to her skin. He jerked his head back to the screen, sick at the look of terror on Claire's face as her eyes flew open and she whimpered at the pain at the needle piercing her skin. Adam winced at what she must be feeling. Aside from the helplessness at being tied to the table, tattoos always hurt more the less fat there was under the skin. He continued rubbing the ropes against the chair, unable to look away as Mel carefully followed the purple pattern on Claire's skin. He had to get to her before Dunham started on the chain links at her neck if there was any hope of her not being publicly branded for life. Even now, she'd have to wear high collared shirts to cover the design. He refused to think of what else Dunham might have planned.
The rope at his wrist broke, finally, and he worked his hand out of the binding, then carefully reached down to loosen the ties at his ankle. Dunham turned away for a moment, and Adam quickly undid the knots on his other side, leaving them in place for now. A few more strokes with the needle, and Adam tensed, waiting for his chance.
The next time Dunham turned, Adam moved quickly, reaching the other side of the room in several long strides. He wrapped his arm around the other man's neck, squeezing hard as Dunham jabbed the tattoo gun hard into his forearm. Wrenching away, Adam turned and grabbed the closest item on the bench, swinging wide at Dunham's head. The hammer connected with a grotesque crack, and Dunham fell to the floor, blood pooling underneath him as the tattoo gun hung from the bench, still humming.
No poll this week...this one's drawing to a close, I think...enjoy!
Author Interview: Cari Quinn
When did you decide to pursue writing seriously?
About five years ago, when it became obvious it was the only thing I had an aptitude for. Perhaps not the only thing, but certainly the strongest. Storytelling – whether on the page or through music – has been my most enduring love throughout my life. Fictional worlds have given me solace, provided me with hope, made me laugh, earned my tears. If I can give even a fraction of that to someone else…well, that just amazes me.
How did you choose what genre to write – or did it choose you?
I always drifted toward contemporary stories because I think they most suit my voice. Fun, light, sexy books were my roots, but lately I seem to be going darker. Writing erotic romance wasn’t ever part of the plan. One of my CPs encouraged me and I went for it, never really thinking that I’d end up writing a bunch of books in that genre. Now I’m branching out a little, toying with some ideas that are much darker than my current offerings.
Tell us a little about your writing process. How do you get from idea to completed draft?
I’m not really sure, LOL. I don’t plot in any formal sense. I start with an idea and begin writing. The characters come alive on the page. Every time I’ve attempted to write an outline or do character charts has resulted in me either not consulting them again or not finishing the book. So I avoid those. I do write linearly, scene to scene, not jumping around, but I do jump back and forth between a couple books at once. The easiest part for me is coming up with ideas. Those are neverending. The hardest part? Finishing. Every single story I’ve written thus far I’ve reached the 75% mark and stopped, sometimes for a couple months at a time. Eventually I come back and finish and usually the time away has given me a better perspective on what the story needs.
What are some of your favorite authors to read?
My favorites hands down are Nora Roberts and Jeaniene Frost. They’re my idols when it comes to go-to reads. I’ve read Nora’s Angels Fall and Jeaniene’s Halfway to the Grave four times each and loved them as much on the fourth read as I did on the first. I also enjoy many other authors in a wide range of genres, way too many to list here.
What do you like do when you're not writing?
Sleep. Unwind with a book. Watch college basketball, especially during March Madness. Probably my favorite thing to do is to go for a long drive with a good cup of coffee at hand, windows down, sun streaming in, and some good loud music blasting. My mind seems to work best on the road for some reason.
How do you balance writing with the other aspects of your life?
Usually I’d say not particularly well. It’s difficult. I work full time and a lot of nights the last thing I want to do is think about a thorny plot problem. The most important thing I’ve learned is to not fight my process. I’m what I call a “spree writer” in that I write a lot for a week or two to meet a deadline then go into slug mode for several weeks. I’ve tried to change this, but it never sticks. I don’t think I’ll ever be a writer who consistently produces day after day, though I’m always thinking about my current WIPs. All half a dozen of them, LOL.
Who is your favorite literary character or couple?
Oh boy. Tough one. I’d have to go with JD Robb’s Eve Dallas and Roarke, with Jeaniene Frost’s Cat and Bones in second place. Four amazing characters.
Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Just that I appreciate every single person who has given my work a try. Without readers, writers are just talking to themselves. I’m so grateful I’ve gotten a chance to live my dream of sharing my work with other people.
And thank you so much for having me here today, Jamie! I love your blogs and I can’t wait to read Tempest, the first of many Jamie DeBree novels, I’m sure. 
Here's an excerpt from Ex Appeal:
The weight of Ty’s stare made her open her eyes. He’d turned to face her again, but he’d moved no closer. "I told myself it was your problem, not mine. Yeah, I've been distracted. Busy with other things. But then I realized that if a woman leaves your bed wanting, that's your own damn fault." His eerie mirror of her earlier thoughts made her breath hitch as he returned to her and gripped her upper arms. Not roughly, not painfully. Possessively. "I need you in my life. Which means it's up to me to keep you happy. Whatever it takes."
Jenny started to roll her eyes at his melodramatics. But before she could shoot back a response, he swung her up in his arms and hauled her up on the deck. His hold brooked no arguments, but that didn’t stop her from slapping at him as he carried her inside and dumped her on the bed.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve.” She shoved her dripping hair out of her eyes. Eyes that were now thankfully bone dry. Anger always had that effect on her.
“And we’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” Ty bent over, then tossed the pink bag from Adult Playland onto her lap. Out bobbed cranberry lace and satin and the erotic crayons she hadn’t yet shown him. “You want to be tied up?”
For some reason, she blushed. “You’re making me feel like a naughty child.”
“I won’t say what you make me feel like.” Flashing her a thin smile, he pawed through her purchases with absolutely no finesse. Might as well have been digging through the sandbox. “Here we go. Over the door. Hooks and straps and this little silk nightie for me to tear to shreds with my teeth.”
Thank so much to Cari for joining us today! You can contact Cari through her web site and/or blog , and buy Ex Appeal at Amazon and The Wild Rose Press . I simply love her work - both books are excellent and *hot*, and I'm eagerly awaiting the next release.
Feel free to leave comments for Cari below!
Everyday Romance: Talking 'bout Trust
I often use extreme situations in my stories to force a trust relationship between my hero and heroine. Obviously that's not practical or something that happens in real life very often. A lot of comments from previous posts seem to indicate that trust is a very hard thing for most of us to give, and easy for us to lose as well.
This made me wonder – in the absence of those extreme circumstances, what makes us trust someone? And on the flip side, what's the quickest way someone can lose our trust?
It's a hard thing to pin down, in my opinion. For me, the main qualities I need from someone before I truly trust them are honesty and consistency. And conversely, dishonesty and inconsistency will make me constantly question the other person's motives, never truly trusting them.
What makes you trust someone? And what one thing will make you walk away without a second thought?
Weekly News & Goals 8/23/10
Is it really the last week of August (well, minus 2 days)? Crazy how the summer flew right by...
If you didn't see yesterday's newsletter, you can check it out here. There's information on the Tempest updates there, as well as a lengthy excerpt from Desert Heat, for those interested. Other than that, things are relatively quiet around here, and getting back to normal. I even have another fun Author Interview lined up on Thursday with the fabulous Cari Quinn, whose latest release is Ex Appeal (a really great read, in my opinion - as are all Cari's works). Don't miss it!
For those of you who ordered a signed copy of Tempest – I just checked and the order should ship out today. So with any luck, I'll have copies to mail out by the end of the week. Yay! I can't wait for you to see this gorgeous cover in person.
This Week at The Variety Pages
Wednesday: Everyday Romance – Trust & Love
Thursday: Author Interview – Cari Quinn
Friday: Chapter 34 of Indelibly Inked
This Week at Beyond the Words
Thursday: Publishing Options Structured as Higher Education.
Goal Reports
Last week was all about getting back into the swing of things, and aside from a few glitches, I feel like I'm all caught up again with writing, and a lot closer with other stuff. My house actually got vacuumed for the first time in several weeks (I probably shouldn't admit that, but I can't be the only one), and my husband seems very happy with the fact that Halloween planning is finally on my radar again (we usually start far earlier). I didn't get much new writing done, as I had to catch up with the serials, but I'm good now and envision much progress for this next week.
Goals for the Week
Writing
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Finish another chapter of Her Private Chef
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Start Ch. 4 of The Biker's Wench
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Ch. 34 of Indelibly Inked
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Plan/play around with a couple secret projects
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Send out Tempest copies when my order gets here
Personal
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Eat right & workout (note, top of the list!)
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Stay caught up on laundry
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Keep my Goodreads list up to date
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More party planning/prep.
I'll call that good for the week – what are you up to? Read any good books lately?
Indelibly Inked, Chapter 33
Indelibly Inked
"What are you doing here, Mel?" she asked as his face slowly came into focus. Round and bald, his head resembled a shiny bowling ball, his eyes and nose perfectly spaced for the holes. He reached out to lock stubby fingers around her wrist and pulled, surprisingly strong for his chubby physique. She stumbled over the low threshold and lost her balance, falling heavily against him. Caught off guard, he went down backward, pulling her with him to the floor.
"You're going to pay for that," he growled. She fought to get away, gaining her feet only to be yanked back down by one ankle.
"Adam!" She kicked out, her heel making contact with something hard as she tried to crawl closer to the door. "Brandon!"
A raspy laughter came from behind her just as she managed to wrench her foot free. "I'm afraid your protectors have fallen asleep on the job," he wheezed as she stood and ran to the hall. "If you leave, I'll simply take them instead," he called, his voice fading as she reached the stair case. She glanced back at the front door, the took the stairs two at a time up to the second floor. A black mask of some sort lay on the floor at the top of the stairs and she wondered briefly what it was for as she jogged by, opening each door in the hall and scanning the rooms until she reached the last one. A small window was propped open on the back wall, and a faint sweet smell wafted past. Pushing the door open, a blast of the same sweet smell hit her full in the face, and her mind struggled to understand why Adam, Brandon and Sly all lay on the floor at her feet as the world started to spin. She lost her balance and fell to her knees, only vaguely aware of feet shuffling behind her before everything went dark.
An autopsy table sat underneath a bright spotlight, a large bucket under the head catching the drainage hose. Laid out on top with her neck supported by a white block was Claire, still dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, her hair pulled up to cascade over the end of the metal platform. He stared intently at her chest, praying it wasn't too late.
"Oh good," Dunham said, startling Adam from his vigil. "I was waiting for you to join us. Now we can get started."
Guest Post: Writing 'Round the Bend
Because I can't resist... take it away, Sam!
Thanks so much to Jamie for having me here today - I love The Variety Pages, one of the few blogs I check on a regular basis, so it's fun to come by and chat.
I am an author of sexy romantic category novels, primarily through Harlequin Blaze, where I am approaching twenty books published (including upcoming work). One thing I love about writing for Blaze is that within the line, you can have so much variety. I can write contemporary (About Last Night /I'll Be Yours For Christmas ), something light and rom-com(Make Your Move ), a heavier suspense/mystery(most of my backlist, LOL), and even paranormal(Untouched , Blazing Bedtime Stories ). I write cowboys, cops, Djinn, scientists, models, and just about anything else you can imagine. But sometimes you write something that goes around the bend, as they say, and might not fit anywhere within traditional publishing. For most folks, that meant stowing it away under the bed, but with Kindle it's nice that we don't have to do that anymore.
For instance, I was itching to write a mystery--a real one, with a murder, clues, etc and only a romantic subplot. So I did, and that lead to Past Tense , which you can now find on Kindle. I learned a lot writing that book, about how to structure clues, crimes, and how carry a story through on the shoulders of one primary character. I took that experience back when I wrote Hard to Resist , my Texas Ranger Blaze that was glowingly reviewed several times for its strong mystery element (as well as it's hot hero *G*) I also learned that I could write a story people seem to enjoy, even though there isn't a lot of sex in it.
I also wanted to write an erotic story that had been "haunting" me for a while, about a woman who has a near-death experience that changes her life, namely with her best friend, whom she has always loved, but never had the courage to tell. I knew it would be a short story, and that would be difficult to sell anywhere -- it was even too short for an epub. That became Barely There , which was my first shot at writing an erotic short. It was my very first Kindle story, and it has done very well.
Still in the paranormal range, I took a story that is actually the follow up to my very first Blaze (Virtually Perfect ) and wrote a darker paranormal, still having that element of suspense, but with the sexuality pushed up a few notches. This became my Kindle book Dangerous Magic .
So while I very actively pursue my category and traditional publishing career--I love writing my books--it's also nice to know I can take a little trip around the writing bend now and then, to experiment, and share those results with readers. Not everything will fit the lists of traditional publishers, but it's nice that it fits somewhere, and honestly, I think writing these books helped me become a better writer overall, so that is a nice side-benefit.
I don't know that I will actively do any more paranormals (aside of a second mystery, since most people who have read Past Tense have emailed me for when the next book is out), but I love having the option to give my imagination some room to wander, and then a way to share the books with readers. I hope you will give them a look. If you want to ask me any questions, about writing, Blaze, Kindle, or whatever, feel free, and I'll drop back in during the day. I will also give away signed copies of my Spring 2010 Blazes to one winner Jamie can draw later in the day.
Sam
Thanks so much for joining us Sam! Always nice chatting with you.
Leave a comment for Sam by midnight tonight, and I'll use Random.org to choose the lucky winner (will notify via email).
Everyday Romance: Fear & Love
What scares you about love?
I’ve never been afraid of commitment, though I was afraid I’d pick the wrong guy. Turns out when your guy isn’t sure he wants to commit, you have a long time to make sure you’ve got it right. I went into marriage with absolutely no cold feet whatsoever – I was more afraid of saying vows and kissing in front of people (embarrassing!) than actually being married. I’ve never once wondered if I made a mistake. I adore my husband to this day.
I do, however, have some fears when it comes to loving other people. Like many women (people? Guys don’t admit to fears often or willingly), I worry that the people I love will be hurt. I have a very vivid imagination, and when I get into a certain headspace, what I imagine happening to people really isn’t pretty. I’ll spare you the details. I try to stay out of that room myself whenever possible.
My other fear is the one most sane people don’t understand – I have a very hard time actually verbalizing “I love you.” My dear husband is lucky if he hears the words once or twice a year. I have an irrational fear that if I say the words, everything will fall apart. Some horrible accident will happen, or he’ll leave, or…[insert totally crazy idea here].
I realize that I’m giving the words too much power. That if I would just get over myself and force them out, it would probably get easier. My secondary irrational fear is that if it gets easier to say them, they’ll cease to have the same meaning. So I guess I fear taking the power away from them, and thus give them too much. Naturally, I have no problem at all writing the words – in a love note, in a card, with my signature. It’s the verbalization that hangs me up.
I told you it was irrational. If it was easy to get past, I would have already.
What scares you about love, or being in love? Do you have any irrational fears to confess?