Everyday Romance: What Makes a Date Romantic?
A couple weeks ago, another writer on Facebook asked if going to a theme park could be considered a "romantic" date. I was in the minority when I responded that any date can be romantic, because I believe romance is about chemistry, not environment.
I never really dated much in high school, and none of the dates I went on back then were terribly romantic. It's not that the guys didn't try, the chemistry just wasn't there. Even the traditional "candlelight dinner" is just boring and awkward if you're not "feeling" the person you're with. On the other hand, that same dinner can turn romantic if the waiter or the guy two tables over is cute.
With my husband though, it never mattered what we did. Whether the environment was skewed towards romance or not, a look, a touch, or a simple exchange could turn the evening romantic in a second. Being with him is still like that for me - we can be in a crowd of people, irritated at noise or children, or monster strollers - and it still doesn't take much to get those stomach flutters going and make everything around us fade to a dull roar.
I think if the chemistry isn't there, romance isn't happening no matter where you go. I had a date with one guy in college that was like that - he was a great guy, we had a lot in common (met online), and for our first date, we went out for dinner and dancing. We both had a great time...it was fun hanging out. But it wasn't romantic - there was no chemistry beyond friendship between us. It was just sort of a pleasant evening out, even though it certainly had the potential for romance.
What do you think? Do you think romance requires a certain environment, or do you think it's a chemistry-driven thing? If you're comfortable, tell us about a romantic date you've experienced in an environment not generally considered "romantic".
I never really dated much in high school, and none of the dates I went on back then were terribly romantic. It's not that the guys didn't try, the chemistry just wasn't there. Even the traditional "candlelight dinner" is just boring and awkward if you're not "feeling" the person you're with. On the other hand, that same dinner can turn romantic if the waiter or the guy two tables over is cute.
With my husband though, it never mattered what we did. Whether the environment was skewed towards romance or not, a look, a touch, or a simple exchange could turn the evening romantic in a second. Being with him is still like that for me - we can be in a crowd of people, irritated at noise or children, or monster strollers - and it still doesn't take much to get those stomach flutters going and make everything around us fade to a dull roar.
I think if the chemistry isn't there, romance isn't happening no matter where you go. I had a date with one guy in college that was like that - he was a great guy, we had a lot in common (met online), and for our first date, we went out for dinner and dancing. We both had a great time...it was fun hanging out. But it wasn't romantic - there was no chemistry beyond friendship between us. It was just sort of a pleasant evening out, even though it certainly had the potential for romance.
What do you think? Do you think romance requires a certain environment, or do you think it's a chemistry-driven thing? If you're comfortable, tell us about a romantic date you've experienced in an environment not generally considered "romantic".
I believe anything can become romantic. Even bowling.
All it takes is a bit of chemistry and the willingness to let go.
I'm loving these posts!
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Indeed, Meg...and I think sometimes we underestimate the importance of that "willingness to let go." Which has an effect on chemistry too, I think...
Glad you're enjoying them - ahh...romance.
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I was just talking about this with my mom. I dated a guy once who was right out of a romance novel. Handsome, dashing, with the manners of a gentleman, funny and smart and truly raised right. Our first date was so romantic, or should have been. I certainly noted down every detail and sighed appropriately at every little happy nuance, but sadly it all fell flat. It was an enjoyable evening, as were all the others we spent together and happy afternoons, but we just didn't "click" romantically. There was so little chemistry, even though I enjoyed his company more than anyone else in a long time. I kept wishing he was gay so we could stay friends.
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That's a really good observation, Heidi - what if the chemistry is one-sided? I do think that happens...and it's always so sad when it does, for the one left behind. I've been on both sides, and it's hard either way. *sigh*
I also think you can have chemistry with more than one person at a time...which is a whole 'nuther problem...
Perhaps we need a post on chemistry?
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I tend to agree with Meg, that romance can be anywhere. I also agree with you, Jaimey , that it is a character-driven thing, sort of.
I am going to save what I personally feel about romance for July 10th, Jaimey.
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Can't wait, Cynthia!
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