Everyday Romance: Is It Romance or Sensuality?
Today I'd like to welcome a wonderful lady to the blog - the lovely Cynthia Schuerr. Snuggle up in a cozy chair and grab a cuppa while Cindy shares her views on romance with us.
I would like to thank Jamie for inviting me as her guest on Variety Pages - Everyday Romance. I very much enjoy reading her weekly posts and serial stories and I’m honored to have the pleasure of posting on her blog today. Please keep in mind, that my thoughts on the subject of romance are strictly my own and are as individual as anyone’s opinion.
The conjecture of chemicals bringing about a feeling of romance between two people, in my opinion, is not the whole story. I know a lot of research went into these studies, but Dopamine, nor-epinephrine and serotonin, controlled by PEA and then oxytocin, pheromones and endorphins, oh my, have nothing to do with romance, at all.
I believe these chemicals do, indeed, exist and they can cause the brain to malfunction (giggles) in the midst of all the heat they create. However, what they bring about is a fleshy, put your hands on my body, please, feeling. A carnal or sexual attraction for physical pleasure, an unrestrained indulgence of a physical nature, having nothing to do with the spiritual senses or even love, for that matter. The processes these drugs induce in the human body have more to do with sensuality, which is of an animal magnetism nature.
Romance, on the other hand, is more allegorical. A fleeting fascination with something or someone, but unlike sensuality, the object does not need to be a person and is not of a physical nature. To invent or indulge in an extravagant story or daydream is romance. A class of literature, beautifully written prose, and lyrical tender melodies are romantic endeavors. Romanesque architecture of the 18th century brought about the era of romance. Literary works, such as the poetry of John Keats, Lord Byron or the Lyrical Ballads by Wordsworth. This is where real romance began.
A sunrise or sunset whether there is someone sitting by your side or not, is romantic. The delight in watching a lovely butterfly flitter by or even better, land in your open hand is romance. Romance is felt anywhere ….and at any moment. When you see and feel what is beautiful to your spirit, you find romance. It’s a spirit, a sentiment, an emotion or desire for a colorful life or world. It caters to our spiritual senses, rather than our physical needs.
A candle lit dinner for two or a picnic on a beautiful day can be romantic, but, as soon as all of the brain chemicals kick in, the physical nature takes over and it is no longer romantic, but sensual. Two people, without feeling chemistry, can still enjoy romance. This may be where the one-sided relationship occurs. Both are having romantic feelings, enjoying the company, the setting, the idea of love, but only one or sometimes neither, is feeling the chemistry.
I know there will be some who disagree that there is a distinct difference between romantic (spiritual) love and sensual (physical) love, because many believe you can’t have one without the other. Thankfully, it is possible. For those who do not have a life partner and rely on less committed relationships, it is rare that you connect with someone on both levels. Romance = spiritual senses, emotion and heart. Sensuality = physical senses, brain and sex. I will say, however, that on the rare occasion they collide, you then have what we know, as passion, which is a whole other conversation.
“There is no instinct like that of the heart.”
So, what are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree? For some interesting facts on romance, click here.
I do adore Keats and Byron. This is a fascinating and insightful post, Cindy - thanks so much for sharing. It brings to mind the Greek views on love, I believe there are three different types. I might have to do a post on that eventually. In any case, I'll wait for a few comments before adding my further thoughts here...
Do share your thoughts below. You can also catch up with Cindy at her blog, The Heart of Writing on Twitter, and on Facebook .